"I'll never look back. That is all there is to it. I will not have a past. Never again." Tanaquil shivered in the cold Saldaea air, but not because she was cold. The memories were just too much. Her blonde hair streamed out behind her as she rode, lashing her face. She was going to go until she ran out of money or found something to do. She would love revenge, but revenge would just bring back unpleasant memories. To have revenge, she would have to, at some point, remember what she was getting revenge for. She did not want to think about it. But nothing seemed to be able to stop the flashbacks.
Brendon dug his heels into his mare, urging greater speed. I laughed and followed, knowing my tall stallion could easily outrun his mare. We were exploring, my love and I. We were farther north this time than we had ever been before. It was a nice day for riding, the day seemed to demand for you to enjoy the air. We get very few truly nice days where I live. Laughing, my stallion Ashan leapt by them. "Eat my dust," I yelled. We traveled down a valley, and splashed through a brook. We were quite wet when we topped the hill.
"No, no more. Stop... I can't take this," she muttered. It was now a couple of weeks since it had happened. They were nearing Tar Valon. Maybe danger would take her mind off her troubles.
The flashback did not heed her mutterings, and continued.
An army of black met their smiling eyes. Shock shattered their minds. This could not be happening... A group on the edge of the mass spotted them, frozen on their now panicked horses. The horses broke at the same time the Trollocs did. I finally got my wits together, and tried to guide Ashan to the less steep side of the hill. The horse did not care where I guided him, as long as it was away. Brendon did not fare as well. His horse charged back the way it had come, and fell down the steep hill. I had the misfortune to turn around to check on him just as they fell... There was no way for him to lived; the horse had tumbled on his leg and broke her own neck, but not his. He was alive when the Trollocs got to him. I did not see that part, the slope obscured my view. There was nothing that I could have done...
The gates to the White Tower stood before her. She entered, trying in vain to clear her eyes of the tears. "I will never again fail to save one I love. If I love..." She thought that nothing would ever be the same for her again. She was few steps closer to her goal.
Then, of course, there was the times from before Brendon had fallen for her, when he was just her best friend. There was that girl, from the neighboring estate, that broke his heart. Tana no longer even knew the girl's name, only that she had hurt her beloved friend a lot. Tana hunted the girl down the day she found out. She was in a fury. The girl plays music for him, and smiles like an innocent, and then rips his heart out! That isn't right! She found the girl, but in company. Since she was so badly outnumbered, she simply warned the girl. "If I ever see you again, I'll break your hand beyond use. Then we'll see how many men you can trap! I think that is fair. You broke his heart, I break your hand, since you seem to have no heart. Do you understand?" At the girl's frightened nod, Tana rode off.